I’m obsessed with plants, like obsessed! So about a year ago, for a challenge, I decided to grow some lemon seedlings.
Citrus trees, including lemons, and most other sour fruit, are simple enough to care for in the way of water and light requirements. Just don’t drown them, and be sure to give them as much sun as possible; however, they’re ravenous beasts when it comes to feeding.
So a few months in, after I had grown five lemon seedlings, I found out I wasn’t such a good plant parent. My seedlings needed nutrients but I couldn’t get my hands on an organic citrus fertilizer. I had to get creative.
I gave them some crushed egg shells, banana peals, and coffee grounds; but, that didn’t do anything. So then I tried bone meal and blood meal, which are super gross but are nutritious and delicious if you’re a plant. That helped a bit, but not much.
I started to get worried. I put a lot of work into raising those little lemon trees. They were like my plant babies, and when your children are sick, you want to do something about it, now! So I went to Walmart.
After reading the labels on about 100 different boxes of fertilizer, I decided that it would be safe if I used slow release fertilizer stakes; the kind that you kill a vampire with, not the kind that you give your dog on his birthday. I would just half the dosage, no biggie.
The stakes killed most of my lemon trees within a month.
Fertilizer stakes aren’t meant for seedlings, and I knew that, so why did I use them?
In your attempts to challenge yourself as an artist, there will be a lot of lemon seedlings. There will be a lot of projects that you put your heart and soul into that, at times, look like they’re about to die. Or maybe, they look like they already have died, and the idea just won’t work out.
For some reason, the shading isn’t correct, or the medium is giving you a hard time, or maybe you have a hard time getting past the “ugly stage” of a painting.
In times like these, it’s easy to look for some quick-fix chemical fertilizer. You might think, “oh, maybe I’m just the type of artist that doesn’t need to learn how to shade,” or you might think, “alrighty, maybe watercolour isn’t my thing.” Worst of all, you might think; “my work is ugly, and will always be ugly. I should just give up.”
These thoughts, and the actions that come afterwards are a result of impatience and worry. You’re impatient because you want to get good now and you’re worried because if you don’t get good now, then all the work that you’ve put into the project, up until this point, will be wasted.
Don’t get me wrong, when those lemon seedlings died, it hurt. But the work I put into my lemon seedlings, or my art, or anything else in life is never wasted. No matter what happens to my seedlings, or artwork, I’ve managed to do something wonderful: I’ve put myself into a situation where I’ve gained knowledge and grown a little. Pun intended.
I started my little lemon seedlings in order to challenge myself and learn a thing or two. Sure, it would be nice to have a beautiful bonsai in the future, but creating bonsai and creating other forms of art is a process. In every process, there is growth, loss, and a whole lot of learning. You’re allowed to have moments of impatience and worry, but never forget why you started your project.
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